The Girl We All Loved (from "My Shory Stories (Book One)") - by Anne Shier (a.k.a. "Annie")

(Based on an episode of the A&E TV show “Intervention”, 2008)

Janine Daniels was such a tiny girl of just 17.  She was my best friend in high school, where we both attended Grade 12, and we were both the same age.  Janine was active in softball and volleyball, plus, she had done more than her share of volunteering both at school clubs and outside the school, at Centenary Hospital.  She was a very good person to have as a best friend.

To look at her, you would think she was the picture of health, a trifle on the thin side, but nevertheless, with a well- proportioned body that most girls and women would have envied.  She and I were close.  We had been close for several years in fact, ever since she had moved to my neighbourhood in Toronto from her native Vancouver.  She lived with her parents, Ted and Aileen, and her younger brother, Aaron, but had no older siblings.

My own family consisted of my parents, Jan and Dean Lafferty, myself (Di) and my older sister, Jackie.  Although we were as close as a family can be, my sister and I were too far apart in age (by 7 years) to have much in common.  But, we did love and care for each other.  If we had problems between ourselves, we talked them over and tried to solve them together.  Even if my own problems were not exactly family-related, there was always someone available that I could talk to.  So, I was fortunate in that respect and I managed not to be in the position of feeling lots of stress and pressure that I could not deal with.  Mom and Dad endeavoured to “be there” for us kids and we didn’t want to disappoint them by being less than they expected from us.

But, Janine was not as lucky as me.  She only had a younger brother whom she usually had to look after whenever her parents went out for the evening, or had other things to do outside of the house.  She didn’t have an older sister like I did to confide in, so, she would confide in me instead.  However, I didn’t have the kind of life experience needed to be able to give her much wise advice.  All I could do, and did, was to listen and show compassion.  Even her own mother was not the type of woman to whom a teenage girl like Janine could go for advice. 

One day, Janine told me that she needed to tell me something that had been an ongoing problem that she could no longer hide, but that going to her own mother or my older sister was out of the question.  She said, “Di, there’s no easy way to say this delicately, except to just say it.  I am bulimic.  What do you think of that?”  I said, “I don’t know to say, Janine.  I mean, what is it and why is it such a big problem?  Tell me more about it.”

So, Janine began, “I’ve always felt self-conscious.  When I look at my nude body in the mirror, I start to notice all kinds of ‘imperfections’ now – things that aren’t quite right and that make me unhappy with who I am.  I know that my build is small, but despite that, I think that my hips are too wide and my thighs are too heavy.  My muscles are growing bigger in my legs, but my upper body needs to be bigger to match my lower half.”

I told her, “That is ridiculous – you look perfect to me.  You shouldn’t mess with perfection.  What in the world makes you think that you aren’t already perfect (or almost perfect)?”

She replied, “Regardless of how you see me, I don’t see myself that way.  So, I tried dieting for a while, with little success.  And, I’ll bet I know why dieting is not working for me – the less I eat, the more my body stores energy for future use.  So, I gave up on that.  Now, I just eat all the stuff that I want to eat.  I’m just going to burn it all off anyway when I exercise, aren’t I?”

I told her, “Janine, you can’t just eat whatever you want to eat as an athlete.  You still have to be very careful about the kinds of foods you eat.”

Athletes usually have to eat high-protein, high-fibre diets to help them excel in sports.  They must cut down on fats and eat less starch, but they cannot cut down on the essentials (vitamins and minerals).  Unfortunately, Janine would eat all the foods that were “bad” for her as an athlete because she could not control her appetite for them.  Then, after eating everything bad in sight (gorging), she would feel extremely full.  At that point, she would also start to feel very guilty and remorseful for the gross overeating that she had just done and would then try to figure how to correct her “mistake” before anyone found out.  It was becoming obvious (to me, at least) that she was not going to just “burn it all off” by exercising the excess calories away.

Months ago, she had attempted to purge herself of these foods by forcing herself to vomit.  At first, it was just an experiment that she had tried in order to see what purging was like.  She’d thought that forcing herself to vomit into large, plastic zip-lock bags and then hiding the “evidence” in the very back of her big closet was the way to prevent her family from discovering her purging. 

I asked her, “Why do you think that your family won’t find out what you’ve done?”

She replied, “If I purge into the toilet, as one normally would, the evil smell will give my secret away.  Also, if the toilet backs up for any reason, my secret will also be discovered.  I think that if my parents know about the harm that I am causing myself, which I know I am, they would, no doubt, force me to stop doing it, somehow.  However, I promise you that I’ll stop when my body looks right to me.  The problem is that I don’t think that I can stop on my own from gorging and then purging.  I need help now to do that.”

Unfortunately, I could see that she was getting to the point where it was too difficult to stop gorging and then purging, on her own.  I, too, felt that she needed help now, and that she was asking me for help.  But, how was I to do that?  I had no idea what to do.  So, I decided to do some research on the Internet to find out more about the effects of bulimia.  I reasoned that, if I knew more about it, I would become more motivated to do something to help my best friend, as I wanted and needed to. 

Janine wasn’t doing anything to hurt anyone but herself.  She was a very good, but misguided person.  However, if she didn’t get professional help soon, one day it might be too late and she could very well die.  I did not want that to happen.  So, I resolved to get her the help she needed one way or another, even if that meant talking to an expert on the subject.  This was going to be a real challenge for me, since I didn’t know any such experts or how to contact one, as yet.

When I went onto the Internet, I went to the web site:  www. interventiontv.com. This was a site that I’d heard about for the families of people who needed help of some kind.  There, I found the name of an interventionist named Catherine Cooper.  She was someone who was willing to meet with Janine’s family members and discuss various coping strategies with them.  But first, I would have to broach the subject (of bulimia) to them cautiously, as, I did not want them to get alarmed and then scare off Janine. 

I told Catherine Cooper, “I have a best friend, the best you could ever have.  But, she’s killing herself inch by inch with daily gorging and purging.  I have no idea how to help her except to appeal to an interventionist like you.”

She told me, “I’ll tell you about this horrible disease.  These are bulimia’s long-term effects.  Left unchecked, bulimia will do several things to her:  deplete her body of essential nutrients for growth and health; weaken her immune system to other diseases; rot her teeth; and, damage her esophagus, throat and upper-GI tract.  And, these were just a few of the harmful effects.  Bulimia is, clearly, a disease – in Janine’s case, an out-of-control disease.   Eventually, this disease will probably kill her because it would be similar to starving herself to death.”

Now that I knew what bulimia’s long-term effects were, I was able to find the courage to speak to her family members.  Without telling them what was wrong with her exactly, I told them, in essence, “If your entire family does not meet with Catherine Cooper soon, you will be missing a golden opportunity to help Janine.  And, you need to help her now.  She needs you desperately.”

Somehow, I managed to convince Janine’s parents to agree to meet with Catherine Cooper, get the relevant facts about Janine, and find out what could be done to help her.  It would take a family effort on their part.

At this point, I had done my part to help her and could do no more for her unless her parents invited me to attend the meeting with the interventionist, as well; and, I wanted to attend.  A couple of days later, they phoned me and asked me to attend and they also planned on bringing Janine’s little brother along.  Everyone who was close to Janine had to get involved so that she would know how serious her situation really was.

On the day of the meeting, Janine was told she was going for her final interview with a group of people and that an expert was going to talk to them about some serious health concerns.  She had no idea of what the expert was going to say – just that she was going to get some helpful information.  It was still vague to her what the real purpose of the interview was.  And, she thought that the other people there would be relative strangers, not her family and friends.  However, she was curious enough to agree to go, which relieved me greatly.  I felt that she would not turn down an opportunity to get the necessary help.  Her family and I would be there only to assist her in getting that needed help. 

At the meeting, after every family member and I got a chance to speak our minds, Janine broke down and sobbed.  She said in tears, “I am so scared because I’ve now gotten to the point where I can’t stop by myself.  But, I was afraid to tell you, Mom and Dad, about it, unsure of what you could, or would, do.”

Thank God, they were able to help her and she was eventually able to stop her bulimic behaviour after several months of counselling and family support, and learn to eat more normally.

Today, she is still active as an athlete and a hospital volunteer and she also sings in the school choir.  She is an excellent student, a good all-round athlete, and has finally learned to love and respect her body and herself.  We offered her our continuing support because she is the girl we all loved.

published by Authorhouse, copyright 2011, Anne Shier.  All rights reserved.