Bet Your Bottom Dollar (from "My Short Stories (Book One)") - by Anne Shier (a.k.a. "Annie")

My name is Trent Mitchell.  “To Gamble or not to Gamble”, that is the question, and to me, that means the same thing as, “To Be or not to Be”.  I was totally in love with the idea of taking the ultimate risk of losing someone else’s money (but, not my own!) that I just couldn’t stop myself from doing it.  Even if I had to beg, borrow or steal the money I was betting.  That was an immutable fact of my life.  And, I also managed to do my gambling, all the while maintaining an aura of respectability.  I had a good job as a hotel casino manager, and was a good husband and family man.  My family had no idea what I was up to and I wanted to keep it that way.

I was “borrowing” from Peter to pay Paul, constantly.  I would borrow the proceeds of casino winnings from my own workplace casino and take it to another all-night casino where I was anonymous and gamble it ferociously away there.  I literally had thousands of dollars of gambling proceeds from my casino in my trusted possession and used it all as if it was my own money.  Most of the time, I lost it.  But, insanely, I felt sure that the odds were in my favor of winning it all back.  Usually though, I found myself even deeper in debt, and all the while, I was digging an even deeper hole for myself.

During the day, I was in the business of competing for casino business with other major casinos in Ontario, such as those in Windsor and Orillia.  My casino was the Fallsview Casino in Niagara Falls.  At the time, a casino (or two) appeared to be a major economic boost for the city, as it was supposed to be for those other cities.  It certainly attracted thousands of people there that might not have come otherwise.  Let’s face it – Niagara Falls, Ontario is one of the most beautiful places in the world, but how long can you spend just gazing at the falls?  Incredibly, it can get a little boring after a while.  Gambling at the casino was invented to provide some extra excitement and diversion for the tourists, thus keeping them from leaving for home too soon.

Somehow, I managed to elude my bankers and “borrow” from one bank to pay another whenever I did win.  And, they were none the wiser for my duplicity.  I kept telling my bankers that the money would be in soon.  And, it usually was.  Another type of gambling I did was to buy lottery tickets.  Playing slot machines and roulette or craps were just not enough for me.  I constantly prayed for the big payout that would allow me to pay back all the money I had “borrowed” and lost.  Such was the secret life I lead.  Was it worth it?  A couple of times, I really thought that I should just end it all by shooting myself or getting involved in some kind of fatal accident so that I could get out of it gracefully.  But, I didn’t, although I was sorely tempted.

Finally, I got to the point of no return when I gambled my last $1,000 and lost it all and then, of course, had to admit that I was well and truly addicted to gambling.  I could not leave it alone - it was in my blood.  But now, I had to face the fact of my addiction and call it quits, once and for all.  It was time to face the consequences of what I had done and pay for my actions.  What choice did I have now that I was well and truly broke?

When I finally did give myself up to the authorities, I was arrested and tried and then convicted of grand theft and breach of trust.  I was sentenced to serve 2 years in prison, followed by 3 years of probation.  It was actually a huge relief to admit to my sins and finally have to face the music.  However, the real price I paid was the loss of my job, my home, my family, my self-respect, the respect of my peers, and my reputation.  In short, everything that people work so hard for all their lives, I had taken for granted and was now all gone.  Still, some think that a longer prison term (of maybe 5 years or more) would have been more appropriate for my crimes.  There were few people who felt anything but distain for me at this point.  And, I didn’t blame them.

I went to a support group, one of only a few for people like me that existed at the time.  I was diagnosed as a “pathological gambler”.  This is a bona fide mental illness characterized by symptoms, which include denial, self-delusion, rationalization and minimization.  Today, I believe that the provincial and some municipal governments in Canada are also addicted to gambling, (in a sense) or rather, to the money that gambling provides.  They even seem to display some of the same symptoms associated with pathological gambling behavior.

Actually, I am not against gambling any more than I am against alcohol or tobacco.  However, I did find myself becoming opposed to governmental promotion and expansion of gambling businesses when they should really be controlling this type of business.  And, the ultimate price is the corrupted citizen, like me, who cannot stop gambling, even when he / she knows it’s not good to continue with it.  The poor “sap” who gets suckered into this game becomes the victim and the governments are the beneficiaries.  So, an activity that was once considered a moral and social evil has undermined communities and, yet, become a socially acceptable pastime.

Now, casinos are springing up in all the provinces of Canada, especially on the border areas with the U.S., to somehow justify their legitimacy by drawing in outsiders, as well as citizens.  The “hidden cost” to governments, despite the seeming benefits to them, has yet to be determined.  Problems with gambling are mostly erupting in the younger age groups (teenagers) compared to older groups of people.  And the severity can vary, as well, from problem gambling to pathological, like my own gambling habit.

So, I imagine that governments will eventually have to admit there is a problem, like I did, for anything to be done that will deal with the developing problems in the gambling population.  I wish them a lot of luck because I had to go to hell and back again to get out of it and it’s a never-ending battle for me still, as we speak.  So, I guess it will be for them too.  Anyway, that’s life and what will be, will be, as far as I’m concerned.

published by Authorhouse, copyright 2011, Anne Shier.  All rights reserved.